a planet moved and now i’m writing a blog

To know and love me is to understand just how much sun Leos need on a regular basis in order to function at full capacity. I have been an astrology girlie in the sense that I inhaled every meme and info graphic about Leos I could get my hands on.

I didn’t really start believing in the actual effects of astrology on my life until my Saturn return started a few years ago. According to astrologers, a Saturn return is when Saturn goes back into the place in your birth chart that it was in when you were born – you are re-experiencing Saturn in that sign/house for the first time in your life. And it will hit you like a ton of bricks. It will strip you of everything you thought was accurate about yourself and make you shed what is necessary to and adopt things that you never thought you would have to. 

Mine forced me to be on my own and as alone as I have ever been in my life. I have a pattern of shutting down when I need to lean more on the people in my life and that did not hit me hard until I was living in my own space, by myself, with no friends, in a state I hadn’t lived in since I was a child. I had family nearby, thankfully, but other than my aunt and uncle I had the women that I was renting from/next to. One of the hardest lessons to learn for me was just how much of myself I had allowed to stop existing and how I had allowed some of the best people I will ever know to simply walk out of my life due to the aforementioned pattern.

A planet moved and there is now less money in my bank account and fresh anxiety about sharing my writing and all other art forms I dabble in with the world. Sometimes I think this sentiment is ridiculous because how can some celestial body have that much control over a person’s life, really? But the moon controls the ebb and flow of the tides – a truth that has guided all of human existence and the daily motions of this planet since its inception. If a rock is powerful enough to control that much, who am I to question the power of a planet in my little life?

The other major lesson I took away from Saturn moving around the right way in the sky for a while is that I have allowed too many other people’s opinions to choose the path of my life and I promised myself I would change that. It starts with the absolutely mortifying experience of trying something new. Being perceived at all in any real way is always uncomfortable – but I have always valued and sought out artists who create for themselves, of themselves. So this is one of my humble offerings to the greater endeavor of finding oneself and creating art along the way for myself and for you.